today started off quite ok but has gone down hill abit since. i feel a little lost at the moment. but am hanging in there, have eaten a bit too much, its funny but since all this has happened, i can actually feel hunger and feel when i have had too much - i just wish i could it feel full a bit sooner - but i'll have to work on that. the qty of food that i am having is way way down, i just can't take it now. yeah every cloud ha a silver lining.
but i still feel down, i know its gonna be a while until i really get used to the new status quo, but one thing is for certain, i am not a piece of shit, even though my mum has treated me that way and i know she believes that, but that are her thoughts not mine. believe me it takes quite a lot of effort to turn that particular record off especially given whats happened, it was hard enough before, but its doubly hard now, but i won't give in.
so i'm feeling down just now but not rock bottom and i must say i am looking forward to the tudors tonite.
well i might see ya later, i'll see how i go. bye for now z.
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