horrible day

hi, i'm having a horrible day today, my daughter is very difficult.  and in anycase its just a one way street with my kids, i help them and they don't help me.  i kinda feel as if part of my personality that i have kept hidden or just lost for a while i don't know, but its now come out and i think its a shock to my daughter because up until now i think she thought i was ill and weak and needed looking after when in reality i am all those things but also i am strong, dertermined and invicible.  i'm seeking to integrate all of this into my psych if that makes sense.  its not my fault i couldn't do this before.  anyway my daughter thinks i'm the worst mother ever just because i'm actually standing up for myself and saying no.  people don't realise it takes a lot of effort for me to say no.