food wise, not too bad a day, emotionally not very good at all. a few tears and now feeling a bit down, would like to comfort myself with food but can't because a) i can't afford to and b) it won't make me feel any better anyway. so i am going to compromise and have two weetabix with milk (semi skimmed) and a tiny bit of sugar. then i am going to relax and try not to beat myself up for feeling down and tired. i don't even feel like walking the dogs but if i sit down and rest abit, i could pysch myself up a bit for a little walk round later before bedtime. its cold though and i feel a bit run down and keep shivering.
T is back and gone to work, he doesn't make me feel any better because i know he's just got paid and even if i asked him, he wouldn't give me anything and i don't have any money at the moment til tuesday. so ofcourse that doesn't make me feel very good. I won't ask him for anything cause basically i just want him to f....k off. i dont like him, he doesn't show any caring spirit towards me at all. but i shall have the last laugh on him, cause he is such a twat. it won't be very difficult.
infact it is this problem that makes me feel so bad, i just don't seem to have the heart to hoof him off but i really resent him they way that he is. i don't know what to do, i just keep thinking i shall say nothing till monday and then he is off and i hope to god the little shit don't come back. oh i'm so cross because he just keeps coming back and i feel sorry for him even though i know its his own decisions that have got him into the mess he is in, though to be fair he don't think he is in a mess. its a big problem for me
No comments:
Post a Comment